Our list is long. The day is short. So many items get transferred to the next day’s list. Constant pressure. Never finishing. Can we even begin to imagine what it be like to have no list? No list at all? No goals? Nothing to work toward? Nothing to look forward to?
For a short moment you picture yourself breathing a sigh of relief. I’m done! But then you begin to think. And you realize how unappetizing a day is with nothing to get ready for, nothing to plan. Just nothing. Continue reading No List At All?
Did you ever feel useless? Like nobody needs you around? We all have such feelings from time to time but they don’t last too long. They dissipate as the first child screams out, “Where are my shoes?” Or when a neighbor knocks on your door in desperate need of your cheesecake recipe. Or when your elderly father calls to say his bulb burned out and he needs you to come over to change it. We feel valued when we offer an opinion and people listen, when we handle a hour-long tantrum and husband whispers, “I left a chocolate bar on the night table. Go relax with a book for awhile. I’ll take over bedtime.”
We’re needed. We’re valued. The signs are everywhere. But what if there is no husband or neighbor or child? What if she is alone in a nursing home, a lonely holocaust survivor? The caretaker is not interested in her opinions, her thoughts, her dreams. Day follows day with breakfast, lunch and supper delivered to her. She no longer lives independently. No longer make decisions. She begins to wonder if she, a real person, is really there. Bit by bit, deterioration sets in. Cognitive function, the ability to relate to others, even the ability to have an opinion – they all decline.
A web of relationships, tightly woven over decades. Strengthened with love and caring. Expanding in every direction. Ever increasing… more and more. Until one day when the center threads begin to fray. Eroded by dementia. Continue reading Holding Tight
She looked lonely. Just sitting there on a park bench with her attendant day after day. I stopped for a moment on my way to work. We spoke. A brief chat each day that we both looked forward to. A warm spirit…an intelligent mind imprisoned in an eighty-two year old body. Erica needed more stimulation. Perhaps some board games to keep her mind active. A game partner who would love her and whom she could love.
I reached my office at Ezer Mizion Ashdod Branch. A message from a parent. The volunteer we had paired up for game therapy with her special needs child was not working out. I had had my doubts. Chagit was eager to volunteer and help others but I had not been sure as to how well she could relate to children. Her own childhood had been less than perfect and she was now living with a foster family. Hmmm. Perhaps…?
It was a perfect match. Chagit visits twice a week armed with games and professional advice from the Game Lending Library Division.a project of Ezer Mizion’s Geriatric Services Dept. Malka Hager Fitness Center. The foster family reports that Chagit is so much more fulfilled. The volunteering with Erica has worked wonders for her, boosting her confidence and self-image.